How Unresolved Emotions Hijack Your Body, Focus… and Brilliance

Turning things upside down and inside out works (ask 2,000 kids)

Let’s start with something I’ve seen with my own eyes so many times now that my “whole system” had to sit down process, and eventually go, “yes it can be that easy” keep going.

In our Crucial Crew workshops, we’ve worked with over 2,000 children so far — and we consistently watch children release stress and unresolved emotion in LESS than 14 minutes.

Fourteen. Minutes. That includes entering and leaving the room before we even begin the workshop.  

They do not reveal anything!

No backstory.
No “what happened.”
No dramatic retelling of stories.

They don’t even need to know the story.

They just need one thing: safety that is clear, repeated, and held.

We create the container. We tell them again and again: this is a safe space.
And we give one clear expectation for that space:

For 14 minutes, no outside topics come in just the one we use.

That’s it. One boundary. One clean rule. One simple “here.”

And then… the release begins almost immediately.

Sometimes it looks like sighing. Sometimes yawning. Sometimes wiggling, shaking, tears, laughter, big breaths, but softness, lightness, comes back into faces, and that includes “most“ of the teachers too.

“And YES, it is wyrd. So we own that too… immediately.”

And here’s my favourite part: it becomes contagious.

When children see other children releasing safely — when they hear the breath, see the softness, feel the room calm — their own bodies go,
“Oh! We’re doing that? Cool. I’ll have some of that.”
And they release even more.

Because children are like animals: they don’t want to hold stress.
They want to come back to regulation as fast as possible — and if you give them safe instructions, their body knows what to do.

So the question becomes…

Why don’t adults do this so easily?

Adults: same nervous system, more “committee meetings” in the head

Adults aren’t broken. Adults are layered.

By the time you’re grown, you’ve often learned:

• “Don’t cry.”

• “Don’t be dramatic.”

• “Keep it together.”

• “Get on with it.”

• “Be polite”

• “If I open that door, I’ll never stop.”

So when the body starts to release, the mind often interrupts like an anxious bouncer:

“Excuse me. What is this? Why is this happening? Are we safe? Are we going to be embarrassed? Do we need a valid story/excuse for this?”

Kids don’t do that. They feel → the body completes the cycle → they move on.

Adults often feel → then stop the cycle midway → then carry the unfinished stress in the shoulders, jaw, belly, chest, sleep, digestion, mood, confidence, energy… (and eventually wonder why everything feels harder than it should).

Unresolved emotion doesn’t disappear.
It becomes body state.

What’s actually happening in that 14-minute “safe space”?

This is where the science gets deliciously simple.

When safety is repeated and reliable, three big things happen:

•  The Nervous System Stops Scanning For Danger

Your system is always asking: Am I safe? Do I belong? What’s about to happen?

Clear safety cues lower threat signals.
When threat lowers, your body has more capacity to process what it couldn’t process before.

•  Co-regulation Kicks In

Humans regulate with humans. We borrow calm from each other.

When one person exhales, softens, yawns, cries safely — these are social cues we have been losing over time and they don’t need words.

This is why the releases become contagious: the group creates a shared “it’s okay here.”

•  The Body Completes The Stress Response

Stress is designed to move through the body and complete.

If it doesn’t complete, it sticks around as tension, agitation, shutdown, numbness, anxiety, burnout, brain fog — all the things that make brilliant people feel like they’ve lost their sparkle.

In those 14 minutes, children often complete what’s been stuck — because they’re not overthinking it, and they’re not ashamed of it.

And honestly, watching it is one of the most hopeful things I know.

So what does this mean for you (and your success)?

If you’re an adult reading this, and you’re:

• exhausted even when you sleep

• foggy, irritable, flat, or “wired but tired”

• carrying mysterious tension or symptoms

• struggling with decisions you used to make easily

• finding your confidence has… gone walkabout

…there’s a very good chance your nervous system is running extra background programmes.

Not because you’re failing.
Because you’ve been coping.

And coping is clever — but it’s expensive.

The performance cost of suppression

When you suppress emotion, part of your system is working overtime just to keep things down. That leaves less capacity for:

• creativity

• clarity

• patience

• leadership

• emotional intelligence

• good decision-making

• connection (with yourself and others)

So emotional processing isn’t a fluffy side quest.

It’s a strategy for getting your energy and brilliance back.

The Live4Energy insight: the body isn’t the problem — it’s the pathway

At Live4Energy Training College we’ve learned something that keeps proving itself:

The body will release in safe ways if you give it safe instructions.

That’s not “positive thinking.” That’s physiology.

And it’s why approaches that work with the body — somatic tools, gentle regulation, EFT-style tapping, breath-led downshifting, safe group containers — can create change far faster than people expect.

Because you’re not forcing healing.

You’re allowing the system to do what it was designed to do.

“How do I do the 14-minute thing as an adult?”

Here’s the adult-friendly version — same principles, just with a little more respect for the mind’s need to understand.

Step 1: Create a mini container

Set a timer for 14 minutes.

Tell your system out loud (yes, out loud IS IMPORTANT):
“For the next 14 minutes, I am safe enough to feel what’s here.”

And set the same simple rule:
No outside topics for 14 minutes.
(No rehashing the argument, no life admin, no spiralling into the future.)

Just: what is happening inside me right now?

Step 2: Track the body, not the story

Ask:

• Where do I feel it? (jaw, chest, throat, belly, shoulders?)

• What does it want to do? (breathe, shake, sigh, cry, yawn, stretch?)

• What happens if I allow 5% more permission?

Step 3: Let it be contagious (yes, even alone)

If you’re with others, regulation spreads.

If you’re alone, you can still borrow safety by using cues:

• a calm voice

• a hand on the chest/belly

• longer exhale than inhale

• gentle tapping

• soft eyes (widen your peripheral vision)

Your body reads these as: “we’re safe enough.”

And that’s the key.
Not perfect safety.
Not a life with no stress.

Just: safe enough, now.

Final truth (and it’s a big one)

Children show us the blueprint:

Given safety, the body releases.
Given permission, the system settles.
Given a calm group field, it becomes contagious.

Adults can do it too — we just have extra layers of “should,” “must,” “don’t,” and “what will people think?”

So if you’re reading this and thinking, I want what those kids have — that ability to let it move through and be done…

You’re not asking for something unrealistic.

You’re asking for what your nervous system was always meant to do.

L.E.S.S.™ is More

ie: Less ….force.

More allowing.

More safety.
More truth.
More breath.
More you.

Want to join our containers and be held safely, then get in touch today.

Want 24 hour access then  train with us to hold your own containers wherever you are and watchout for our new app to connect around the world.

Blessings to you and yours

Rachel 

Live4Energy Training College

Founder